1. onlylolgifs:

    baby tastes salt and vinegar chips

    (via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

     
  2. (Source: wockykitaki, via chanah)

     
  3.  
  4. (X) - (X)

    (Source: sheoing, via the-divergent-faction)

     
  5. "Kids, there are two big days in any love story, the day you meet the girl of your dreams; and the day you marry her."

    (Source: allissonmccall, via weseegenius)

     
  6. judymartn:

    American Horror Story: Murder House

     A Summary

    (via heyfrancos)

     
  7. nosdrinker:

    the ol’ razzle dazzle

    (Source: fishki.net, via dancewith-myviews)

     
  8. cotilardmarion:

    SpongeBob SquarePants & American Horror Story:Coven Parallels

    (via f-yeah-americanhorrorstory)

     
  9. teamsciles:

    teen wolf meme - day 14: oh alpha, my alpha!
    » Melissa McCall

    (via weseegenius)

     
  10. khaleesi:

    so theo james can sing

    I’m pretty sure that this is what jesus died for

    (via weseegenius)

     
     
  11.  
  12. officialunitedstates:

    Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

    The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

    I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

    The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

    Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

    "Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"

    "That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."

    After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

    My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

    "Steve," I said, "Have a seat."

    He did.

    "I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."

    Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

    Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

    "Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

    "Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."

    Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

    ★★★

    (via dancewith-myviews)

     

  13. sollux:

    DO YOU EVER WANNA MEET SOMEONE IN PERSON SO BAD YOU GET ALL EXCITED THINKING ABOUT IT AND MENTALLY PLAN OUT A DAY EVEN THOUGH ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN

    (Source: manaphy, via styles-irwins)

     

  14. "

    HIGH SCHOOL

    This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
    down the black boxes on your scantron
    so the grading machine skips the wrong
    answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
    this is how to National Honor Society.
    This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
    for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
    Least” for senior superlatives. This is
    stepping around the kids having panic
    attacks in the hallway. This is being the
    kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
    This is making the A with purple moons
    stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
    This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
    ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
    high school student has the same anxiety
    levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
    patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
    by heart, but short-circuit when asked
    “How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
    know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
    We usually know the answer, but rarely
    know ourselves.

    "
    — HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird  (via chubbell)

    (Source: blythebrooklyn, via toutmoncoeurpourtoi)

     
  15. concentrateandaskagain:

    penandpage:

    What do your lines say?

    This is weird.

    It’s Robert Pattinson in the days before Twilight.

    Look at him, still smiling. There’s hope in his eyes. He can see a future before him, and he still believes that it can be good. He still has dreams.

    It’s like Dean Winchester before Hell

    (Source: honestlywoman, via abandoned--reality)